


Sock on the Door! There is a Sock on the Door!

by myglassesaredirty



Series: Parenting is Hard [5]
Category: Psych
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Coitus Interruptus, F/M, Toddlers, but this is based off what little i know, i also have no idea how toddlers actually talk considering i have no kids, i'm using my hotspot for this i hope you appreciate, it honestly cracks me up how many phrases we have for sex, there is a bit of canoodling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 14:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18100451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myglassesaredirty/pseuds/myglassesaredirty
Summary: There is exactly one hour a week when Henry and Maddy manage to make time for certain romantic activities. Shawn interrupts this hour.





	Sock on the Door! There is a Sock on the Door!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't. Don't even ask where this idea came from.

“We should do this more often,” Henry murmurs, pressing a kiss to Maddy’s jaw.

 

Maddy hums and wraps her arms around Henry’s neck, pulling him closer. “I fully attest to that.” She tilts her head so that she can kiss Henry, and she wants to melt into his mouth, wants to pull him closer than they already are.

 

Henry sighs, presses his hand to the mattress, and keeps kissing his wife. “How come,” he says between kisses, “we don’t? I mean –” he kisses her neck this time, grinning devilishly when Maddy’s breath catches, “– it’s not like either of us hates this activity.”

 

Maddy arches her back and tucks her face into Henry’s neck. “You know the answer to that question.”

 

Henry growls and runs his tongue over the skin right under her jaw. “Remind me.”

 

Maddy laughs and kisses Henry’s neck in retaliation. “We have a toddler.”

 

Henry lifts his eyebrows and starts moving down Maddy’s body, pressing kisses to her collarbone, chest, and stomach. “He knows the sock on the door rule.”

 

Maddy rolls her eyes and moves her hand so that her hand is in Henry’s hair, running through it, causing the front of his hair to stick up. “He’s two and a half. I highly doubt you explained it well enough for him to get it.”

 

Henry stops in his escapade of kissing her and lifts his head. “How do you know?” He waggles his eyebrows and kisses her belly button. “I think I did a pretty great job of explaining it.”

 

Maddy lets herself fall back against the mattress. “How does he know what an emergency is, Henry? To him, not getting candy is an emergency.”

 

Henry pushes himself up. “Are we still going to keep talking about Shawn, or are we getting on with this?” He crawls back up the mattress and hovers over Maddy, gently pushing stray flyaways away from her face. “Talking about one product of these little escapades kind of ruins the mood for this specific escapade.”

 

Maddy shakes her head, cups the back of Henry’s neck, and pulls him in for a long, lingering kiss. Henry shifts so that he can deepen it, and Maddy sighs contentedly, letting his hand slip lower, lower…

 

At their bedroom door, there’s a small grunting. Maddy pulls away from Henry for a second and grabs his wrist.

 

Henry furrows his brow. “What’s wrong?” He tries to move his hand, just so that he can better hold himself up above Maddy, but her grip is firm. “Do you not want –”

 

Maddy presses her index finger to her lips and points at the door.

 

Henry tilts his head, listening intently for the sound of his son. The doorknob turns, and Henry immediately scrambles to get off Maddy. “Crap!” he hisses.

 

They’re a mess of tangled limbs. Maddy grabs the edge of the covers, pulls them up to her chin, and flops onto her side immediately. Henry looks around frantically, hovers over Maddy to tell her that she’s on the wrong side of the bed, but the door slowly creaks open, and Henry falls back against the mattress, pulls what little of the covers he has left to cover himself as best he can, and shuts his eyes.

 

Shawn toddles into the room and stops immediately when he notices that his parents switched sides. He shrugs and continues on in the direction he had started, coming up to his father’s side. He pokes his father’s arm. “Daddy?”

 

Henry cracks one eye open and clears his throat, praying to God that Shawn doesn’t yet have enough observational skill to notice that something is clearly very off. “Yes, Shawn?”

 

Shawn furrows his brow. “Whatcha doin?”

 

Maddy snorts.

 

Henry glares at her over his shoulder, and she starts pretending to snore. Henry looks back at Shawn and clears his throat again. “Um…your mom and me…Mommy and me are, um…” He clears his throat for the third time. “…Napping. We’re napping, Shawn?”

 

Shawn’s shoulders sag. “But Mommy sleeps on this side.”

 

Henry nods fervently. “Yes! Yes, that’s– that’s true, um, Shawn, but um…see, when your mom– when Mommy and I take a nap –” Henry blinks so quickly that his eyes are starting to tear up. He licks his lips instead and resists the very strong urge to clear his throat for a fourth time. “We switch sides!”

 

If Shawn was confused before, he’s certainly more confused now. He tilts his head to the side. “Why?”

 

Henry starts to clear his throat again, but he shakes his head and scratches his head. “Well, uh, that’s a great question. Um, Mommy and I switch sides when we nap because…because, um…” He sniffs and rubs his nose, pinching it once to buy himself some time. “Well, you see, we don’t want our bodies to get confused when we go to sleep at night.”

 

Maddy snorts again, but Shawn’s attention is focused on his father. Henry nonchalantly and subtly elbows Maddy.

 

“So,” Henry says, swallowing past the awkwardness, “because we don’t want our bodies to get confused, we sleep on the other side of the bed.”

 

Shawn pouts. “An’ you don’ get con- con–” Shawn’s brow creases, and he stares down at his fat fingers as his mouth tries to form the word. “Con–”

 

Henry nods once. “Confused.”

 

Shawn nods. “Yeah. Do you?”

 

Henry frowns and nods slowly. “No, we– we don’t get confused at night, no.” He leans forward and whispers to Shawn, as if it’s a secret, “It works every time.” He presses his index finger to his lips, as if binding Shawn to this secret.

 

Shawn tilts his head to the other side. “Is dis why dere’s a sock on da door?”

 

Henry raises his eyebrows. “Pardon?”

 

“Is dis what da sock means?”

 

Henry sighs heavily. “Um…” He tugs at his earlobe, wincing when his voice rises approximately four octaves. “Some-sometimes.”

 

Shawn’s mouth falls open, and he glances back and forth, trying to process what “sometimes” means. “But udder times?”

 

Henry licks his lips and rubs his forehead. “Well, uh…Mommy and I read sometimes, or we watch a movie, or we get cleaned up. Sometimes, like today, we take a nap during  _ your _ nap time.” He leans forward and ruffles Shawn’s hair. “Speaking of, you should be in bed. Or do you not like the racecar bed we got for you?”

 

Shawn giggles and pushes Henry’s hand away. “I wuv it!” He frowns. “But it was a ‘mergeny.”

 

Henry sighs and twists onto his side, making sure that the covers stay above his waist. “What  _ kind _ of emergency, Shawn?”

 

Shawn ducks his head. His hazel eyes are almost completely brown today, causing him to look more like Bambi than normal. His hair sticks up wildly in all directions. “My piwhoa is fwat.”

 

Henry stares at Shawn and blinks. “Your pillow is flat.”

 

Shawn nods.

 

Henry groans and rolls back onto his back. “That’s not an  _ emergency, _ Shawn!” he says, draping his arm over his forehead.

 

“I can’t sweep wifout my fwuffy piwhoa.”

 

Henry rubs his forehead. “Shawn, all of us have to learn how to do things we don’t want to do.” He glances at his son, whose bottom lip is now trembling, threatening the tantrum of the century. And when it comes, Maddy will have to be the one to remedy it, and she is still naked from the neck down.

 

Henry sighs. “Okay, okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

Shawn reaches up, grabs his father’s hand, and tries to tug him in the direction of his room. “But I want now!”

 

Henry shakes his head. “No, Shawn, not right now.”

 

Shawn pouts. “Why not?”

 

Henry runs his free hand through his hair. “Well, Shawn, I need to get dressed.”

 

Shawn frowns, leaves his father’s side for a moment, and steps back to survey the pile of clothes strewn about the room. “Do you an’ Mommy always sweep wifout cwothes??”

 

Maddy buries her face into the pillow and tries very, very hard to conceal her laughter.

 

Henry clears his throat. “Sometimes.”

 

Shawn furrows his brow. “Why?”

 

Henry reaches to scratch his hair, but he decides against it and tugs on his earlobe instead. “Well, uh…Mom- Mommy was really hot to–“ he clears his throat again “–today, but she’s– she’s still wearing clothes.”

 

Shawn points to the clothes on the ground. “But –“

 

Henry nods. “Yeah, Shawn, we took– we took off our clothes, but Mommy is wearing pajamas right now.” When he catches the determination in Shawn’s eyes to wake up his mother, Henry holds out a hand. “But she’s still sleeping! Don’t wake her.”

 

Shawn nods slowly. “I’m going back to my woom.”

 

Henry gives him a thumbs-up. “Sounds like a good idea.” He sits up a little, though not enough for the covers to slip below his waist. “I’ll be there to fluff your pillow in a little bit.”

 

Shawn toddles out of the bedroom and back towards his own room.

 

Henry flops back against the mattress, and Maddy starts laughing for real. “You told him we were  _ napping?” _

 

Henry looks at her in bafflement and pushes back the covers. “What would you have said? That we were touching each other’s private parts? Playing doctor?”

 

Maddy smacks Henry’s shoulder and pushes herself up, keeping her upper body covered with the sheets, lest Shawn come wandering back in. “You know what I mean.” She rests her chin on Henry’s shoulder as he bends forward and grabs his shorts.

 

Henry shrugs with one shoulder. “Mad, he isn’t going to be able to understand the concept of sex for a while now.”

 

Maddy raises her eyebrows and presses a kiss to Henry’s shoulder. “Well, when he  _ does _ ask the question of where babies come from, you’ll have to be prepared to answer it.”

 

Henry looks up sharply and pauses in his task of pulling his shorts on. “What? Why me?” He points at Maddy with his index finger. “Since we both put in an equal part in making him, I think we should rock, paper, scissors over it.”

 

Maddy purses her lips and shakes her head slowly. “Little balls, Henry. That’s all I’m saying. You perfectly understand the male psyche. I can’t.”

 

Henry rolls his eyes. “Mad, you know that that is the last conversation I ever want to have in my life.”

 

Maddy quirks her eyebrow suggestively, brushes her hair back away from her neck, and presses kisses to Henry’s neck. “Hurry up,” she murmurs. “Our hour is not yet done.”

 

Henry chuckles. “You know Shawn’s not going back to sleep.” He closes his eyes and leans back a little bit. “But I hope to God he does.”

 

Maddy nods and kisses her way up to Henry’s jaw. “Henry…”

 

He turns his face so that he can finally kiss her. “He doesn’t need his pillow fluffed.”

 

Maddy shoves Henry, and he nearly falls off the bed. “Go!”

 

Henry holds up both hands in surrender. “Maddy…”

 

She points at the door. “Go!” she says again, laughing.

 

Henry leans forward and puckers his lips. “One more kiss for the road?”

 

“Only if you learn how to take your socks off during sex.”

 

Henry rolls his eyes and holds a hand up to his chest. “I am  _ offended.” _

 

Maddy presses her lips together. “Henry.”

 

He kisses her once more and peels off his socks. “I’m changing for you, Maddy. I hope you recognize that.” He back up toward the bedroom door. “And when I get back, we are picking up right where we left off.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like it, love it, hate it? Leave a comment below or go to my tumblr, @ my-glasses-are-dirty, and tell me what you think!


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